One of my favorite bands and tracks from the 80’s. Together Alone by Crowded House is a melancholic dirge of a song that somewhat expresses the loneliness I felt then as a relatively young man making his way around Chicago, trying to connect with a cast of characters: club kids, ravers, con men, women of intrigue, and so forth. OK, maybe not that melodramatic, but back then, before we had SOCIAL MEDIA writ large, it seemed fun going out each night and not knowing where you’d end up or whom you’d meet.
This past week, I found myself downtown, headed to an event I had stumbled upon via Facebook. Or was it Eventbrite? Regardless, it turned out I had missed an email from the organizer saying the event had been postponed. Trying to make the best of it, I posted on Facebook, Hey, anyone downtown right now at Blues Fest? Of course, none of my social media friends replied. I forlornly deleted the post. Then I tried texting a couple friends I had recently met in-real-life at a social club I joined a year ago. Both begged off, due to traffic, exhaustion, and/or the Trump indictment. Lately I’ve been finding it difficult to manage any impromptu sort of rendezvous with anyone. A few weeks back, I had tried to coordinate a larger gathering to celebrate my birthday by securing a group block of tickets to a new musical. Alas, several of my invitees had to cancel due to other commitments on the date I had selected. So even advance planning didn’t pan out. I ended up going with my wife and son instead. The show was lovely.
Maybe this is how it is when you’re middle-aged like I am. Once you have kids, life becomes smaller in some ways. Your kids’ lives take precedence to much else. Both my brother and cousin are almost never available on weekends due to soccer practice, other kids’ birthday parties, or holding down the fort while their spouses attend to household errands of one sort or other. Plus, in this day of remote work and Zoom meetings, professional work tends to seep into the weekends and all corners of the work week.
With regards to social media, I see folks still post regularly about this or that vacation, job accomplishment, or life update. The adrenaline hit of getting a like or a heart for your adorable pet photo, or that Instagram-worthy cinnamon bun you just made are the currency of choice versus actually inviting people over to eat that cinnamon bun with you. Maybe it’s the only energy we have left after enduring a global pandemic, a now criminally indicted ex-President, a war of global consequence, non-stop mass shootings, and everything else roiling our world. Posting that photo is just easier than picking up the phone and seeing if another human being wants to meet you at the bar and get a little bit drunk on a work night. Oh if we only had a social media app for that.